


The Feast Of Inanna

by havocthecat



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Aphrodisiacs, F/F, F/M, Femslash, Het, Multi, Polyamory, Threesome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-01-12
Updated: 2006-01-12
Packaged: 2017-11-05 10:29:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/405402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/havocthecat/pseuds/havocthecat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack, Sam, and Janet attend an alien banquet. Turns out it's a fertility festival. What do you think is going to happen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Feast Of Inanna

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted [here on LJ](http://havocthecat.livejournal.com/292033.html).

"I liked the little shrimpy things," said Jack, opening the door to his quarters. "We should go on diplomatic missions more often. The natives serve better food."

"They looked like spring rolls," said Janet. She and Sam were standing outside in the hallway, waiting for Colonel O'Neill to go inside. It wasn't that they were standing on formality, it was more that the evening had been enjoyable--more so than most off-world missions--and none of them wanted it to end. "Not that we needed to go halfway across the galaxy to get Thai food."

"It was nice," said Sam.

Colonel O'Neill glanced inside the room, then back out at Janet and Sam. "Teal'c said he and Daniel didn't make it back from the dig site in time for the banquet, so they got a room across town so they can hit the local library first thing in the morning. He radioed me when you guys were gossiping with the local girls in the bathroom."

"Some things don't seem to change across cultures, sir," said Sam, smiling.

If Janet didn't know better, she'd say Sam was flirting with Colonel O'Neill. Sam wouldn't do that. She'd proven enough times that she wouldn't let personal considerations get in the way of her duties. "Come on," said Janet. "I had too much wine, and I'm about to fall asleep." Never mind about not letting the night end.

"Sure," said Sam, giving Janet a startled look. She shrugged. Sam could take it as an apology if she wanted to.

"Good night, Colonel," said Janet. She wasn't jealous. She wasn't allowed to be jealous. Janet glanced at Sam. Tall, blond, gorgeous, and incredibly smart. And Colonel O'Neill? He was incredibly well-built, and she couldn't help but admire his sharp wit, or the way his mind never stopped working out strategies and tactics. No wonder they'd fallen for each other, and no wonder she'd fallen for both of them, not that either of them knew it. The regs didn't seem to stop any of them. _I guess it's 'suffer in silence' time again. Oh, well._

"Yeah," said the Colonel, waving from inside his room across the hall. Sometimes she thought he knew. Sometimes Janet wondered if they both knew how she felt. _Because I sure as hell have no clue how they feel about me._ What if they felt the same way? What if it was just the regs and their damned senses of duty keeping them apart?

"See you tomorrow, sir," said Sam before she closed their door. "What was that about?" she asked Janet.

"I'm tired, Sam." Janet sat heavily on her bed. "That's all."

"Sure," said Sam.

 _You don't believe me. I don't blame you._ "Let's just get some sleep, then."

The feelings had come on slowly. She was at the zoo with Cassie one day. They'd spotted Sam. Her brother and his family had come to visit, and they'd all gone to the zoo. When Cassie had run up and practically tackled Sam with a hug, she'd met Janet's eyes. That was the first time she'd realized she was falling for Sam. That was bad. She'd known for years that she could be attracted to women, but she was in the Air Force. She'd spent years ignoring it for good reason. She'd never been attracted to her best friend before. Her straight best friend. Who was in love with her commanding officer.

Possibly who was in love with her best friend too? Janet shook her head. No. Sam was a toe the line kind of person who wouldn't have even let her feelings about Colonel O'Neill out of the box if she hadn't been forced to. As far as Janet knew, she was arrow-straight and not interested, which was good. It had to be that way, so they could save both of their careers.

"What's wrong?" asked Sam quietly.

"Nothing," said Janet. _I can play the denial game as well as you, Sam._

She'd fallen for Colonel O'Neill long before she'd fallen for Sam. Way back during her first week on base, even. He'd been practically a Neanderthal, verbal skills at next to nothing, acting on instinct and emotion rather than intellect, and still putting the welfare of others before his own. Of course she'd fallen for him. Even then, though, she'd known how he felt for Sam. It was pretty obvious, given that his virus-fueled instincts had prompted him to attack Daniel to keep him away from Sam.

Janet sighed. _I'm just doomed, aren't I? The schedule doesn't keep me from having a social life. The constant, planet-threatening emergencies, though? Those are keeping me from having a social life._ Except on other planets, of course. Oh, well. Time to sleep.

***

Her breasts felt... She was aware of them, the way they slid against the soft cotton of her t-shirt as she shifted in the dark room, trying to get some sleep. Her nipples were taut, and every time they brushed against her t-shirt she felt another surge of hormones flow through her body. All she was wearing was the t-shirt and a pair of panties. She could feel the wetness that had soaked through them, and she couldn't stop thinking about sex long enough to calm down and go to sleep.

"Time to face facts, Janet," she whispered to herself. "You can't sleep." She couldn't sleep because she was seriously aroused and there wasn't any chance of getting any. The prospects were Colonel O'Neill or Sam--in other words, no prospects. Janet sighed and shifted slightly in bed. Sam's breathing was even and regular, so no chance of talking and distracting herself until the feelings passed.

Janet slipped her hand under her panties and spread her legs slightly. Time to get this taken care of so she could get some rest. She slid two fingers across her clitoris, gasping and suppressing a moan, then slid them inside herself, as deep as she could. God, that felt-- Even better. It felt even better. Her palm grazed her clit, and Janet brought her other hand up, under her shirt, and started caressing one breast. _This would be better with someone else._

She thrust her fingers against the wetness, and her palm brushed her clit with each movement while she tugged at her nipple and tried not to make a sound as she came hard. _That should take care of that._ Except it didn't. As she lay there in bed, the symptoms of her arousal didn't go away--in fact, they got worse. _That's odd._ That shouldn't be happening.

"You should maybe try not to gasp so hard when you're doing that," said Sam dryly. "Not that I was asleep anyway."

Oh, God. Janet felt heat rush into her cheeks and she knew she was blushing. "Sam--"

"Don't worry about it," said Sam. "Look, uh, this is going to sound a little weird, but--"

"Let me guess," said Janet, trying to match the dryness of Sam's tone. "You're feeling the physical symptoms of arousal and they won't go away? Same here." Janet tried to think about the problem logically, but her brain was stuck on the fact that an extremely aroused Sam Carter was wearing next to nothing and laying on the bed across the room.

She could practically hear Sam wince. "I tried the same thing you did."

"Nothing, then?" asked Janet. She tried to keep her voice level and even. She succeeded. Barely.

"Maybe we should see how Colonel O'Neill is?" asked Sam.

"Maybe he's fine," said Janet. This was a little too embarrassing to bring to Colonel O'Neill.

"Embarrassed?" asked Sam.

"Very," said Janet. "Embarrassed and frustrated."

"Like I don't get this way often enough without having to worry about it not going away?" asked Sam. "What could be causing this, anyway?"

Multiple explanations went through her mind, but only one of them fit the symptoms. "An aphrodisiac," said Janet.

"I thought you said they don't exist," said Sam.

"They don't," said Janet wryly. "Not on Earth, at least." All right. Enough was enough. She threw off the blankets and stood up. "I'm seeing if this planet has the equivalent of a cold shower."

***

Colonel O'Neill stood outside the door and gripped the frame tightly with one hand, as if he were holding himself back. His gaze flickered up and down her body, then caught her eyes and held them. The look on his face--frustrated desire, need, and a longing in his eyes--made Sam take a step away. "Something's wrong, Carter." He took one step forward, inside the room, then another slow step, and he closed the door behind him.

Sam forced herself to stay in place, not to move back two steps for the Colonel's two steps forward. He was dangerous now, tense and incredibly aroused. _If you were going to be honest with yourself, you'd admit that you're not moving back because you like him this way._ She smiled nervously. "It's an aphrodisiac, sir," she blurted. "Janet--"

"Where is Doc Fraiser anyway?" asked Jack.

"She's taking a cold shower," said Sam. "I'd take one too, but--" Sam paused, trying not to think about Janet in the shower, about her gasping in shock under the cold water, and _certainly_ not thinking about how best to warm her chilled skin.

Colonel O'Neill groaned, and Sam shook her head to clear it. He pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes. "Carter," he said wearily. "I really didn't need that image."

"Sir?" He was wearing boxers and a t-shirt. They hadn't classified this planet as hostile, or even uncertain. The SGC was about to conclude an alliance with the people of this planet, so there was no need to sleep in full gear, to be ready to fight or run on a moment's notice. It was why she was wearing a comfortable old t-shirt, worn thin from dozens of washings, and a pair of panties. When the Colonel glanced at her sharply, his eyes flickering across her body, taking in the curve of her breasts, her hips, the faint blush in her cheeks as she looked at him intently. He was hard, she noticed that right away, but she noticed other things too. His legs, muscled, but with scarring at one knee from several surgeries. Forearms, dusted with hair and muscles tight because his fists were clenched.

It was harder and harder to ignore the heat between her thighs or the tension in the room. Sam shifted her weight and caught her breath as the Colonel groaned.

"Did Doc Fraiser say how soon this was all going to go away?" he asked.

Sam shook her head. "She didn't know."

"Damn it!" Colonel O'Neill lashed out, punching the wall in frustration.

"Sir!" exclaimed Sam, taking a step forward and reaching out to him. She didn't touch him, but she almost did, and that was enough to break through whatever was holding them apart. He reached out to clasp her hand, and without thinking, she pulled the Colonel to her. Her breasts were pressed up against his chest. His whole body was pressed up against hers, and his free arm had circled around her waist. She could feel his breath on her skin for that bare instant where they both struggled for self-control, and then they were kissing. Sam moaned, deep in her throat, and then Jack was pushing them forward, until her calves caught against the edge of the bed. They fell together, his body heavy on hers, their hands tearing at each other's clothing. Sam felt him lift her shirt up and helped him pull it off. While he was flinging it away, she pulled his shirt off and let it fall. It wasn't enough. Sam reached to the waistband of her panties and started tugging them down.

"Let me," said Jack, pulling them off her legs with one hand while he skimmed the other over her belly, then lower, and slid two fingers inside her. Sam cried out and moved against him. He was braced on one arm, leaning over her body, one mouth on her breast, licking and sucking at the nipple while he moved his fingers inside her, faster and faster, but suddenly he pulled them away and she cried out in frustration--until he shifted to move on top of her, and she was already so wet that his cock slid deep inside her easily.

Sam twisted and shifted against him, gasping as she arched her back. Jack stared at her, his eyes never leaving hers as he moved inside her. Her hands skimmed his chest, brushing over his nipples, before Sam put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him again. Their tongues slid together, and his body never left contact with hers, and she could feel everything building, until suddenly she was _there_ , her hand over her mouth to stifle a scream as she came, her body convulsing. Jack was close, and his eyes widened slightly as he started moving faster inside her, more irregularly, until his uneven, ragged breaths turned into moans and he finally quieted and stilled.

Jack let his forehead lower to touch hers. "Carter," he murmured, kissing her gently.

This wasn't helping. Nothing was helping. And he was kissing her again, and they were touching each other, and-- Maybe if she went with it, it would wear off eventually.

***

The shower hadn't helped. She couldn't get rid of this feeling, couldn't get rid of this _heat_ suffusing her body and making her breath catch in her lungs as she opened the door and saw--them. Sam and Colonel O'Neill, in bed together, ignoring every regulation that told them not to do exactly what they were doing. And watching them naked, each unable to bear letting go of the other, was both incredibly hot and unbelievably annoying. If she hadn't been under the influence of this damned aphrodisiac, Janet was pretty sure it would have been a mood killer.

 _Aphrodisiac or no, I will not be the third wheel in a romantic tryst that breaks every reg on the books._ She stalked past them, towel wrapped tightly around her body, and grabbed her pajamas with one hand. They wouldn't notice her. They were too wrapped up in each other. There had to be a spare room someplace quiet. Someplace she could ignore the soft noises Sam was making and the low moans coming from the Colonel's throat. Someplace where that she could beat her head against the wall until the throbbing that suffused her body quieted down.

"Doc." Colonel O'Neill sat up suddenly and grabbed her wrist tightly. Too tightly. There was a maneuver to break that grip, one that you could use regardless of how much strength the person holding you had, but Janet didn't twist her palm towards the place the Colonel's fingers met his thumb.

Janet hissed in pain and tried to ignore the rush of fire in her belly at the contact. Sam stared up at her with wide, green eyes. Her chest rose and fell with her shallow breaths, and Janet licked her lips before dragging her gaze up to meet Sam's eyes again. "Colonel, I'd appreciate--"

"We kind of can't help ourselves," said Colonel O'Neill. "Something--"

"I'm aware of that, Colonel," interrupted Janet, trying to ignore the fact that his thumb was making tiny circles on the inside of her wrist. She couldn't ignore it. And she couldn't ignore the fact that her knees were turning to jelly, especially now that Sam was sitting up and leaning forward. Her nipples were slightly reddened, like they'd been touched and sucked on just recently. Janet tried not to think about it. "We ingested an aphrodisiac at dinner. You're not responsible for your actions. I'll just give you some privacy--" This time she did twist and pull her hand free from the Colonel, but he was ready for that. He stood up and got between her and the door. _Damned Special Forces training._ He was barely an inch away from her, and Janet tried--and failed-- to avoid noticing the smell of sex that lingered on his skin.

"Who says we want you to go?" he asked roughly. Janet stared up at Colonel O'Neill, and there was something dark and possessive in his eyes when he looked at her. He was _not_ supposed to look at her like that. Not her.

"Colonel." Janet swallowed. "Don't be ridiculous." He didn't look ridiculous. He looked naked, and very aroused, and Janet was starting to feel a desperate need to touch him again.

"Janet." Sam stood up slowly and walked over to Janet. Sam was naked too. "Don't go."

 _If I don't get out of here soon, I won't be responsible for my actions either._ They were naked, and she was wearing nothing but a towel. A towel that Sam was apparently pulling off her body right now. Janet let her pajamas fall to the floor. Oh, hell. _Why am I trying to be stupid enough to turn this down?_ She asked herself that question, but her self was too busy reaching up for Colonel O'Neill to kiss him.

Well, that wasn't going to work. Time to put the first lesson any short woman learned about sex to work: Height doesn't matter if you're both horizontal. She pushed at his chest, just enough to move him backwards, towards the bed. He sat down on the edge instead of falling, a little smirk on his face. She could work with that. Janet straddled him, put her arms on his shoulders, and sank slowly down on his cock. She was already so very wet that he slid in easily. "Come on then, Jack," she said. _Because I'll be damned if I'm going to call someone with his cock buried in me as far as it can go 'Colonel O'Neill.'_ Of course, Sam probably got off on it. "You don't want me to go, you'd better show me a really good time."

"The best," he gasped, thrusting upwards. Well, at least Janet knew why the beds were so big now. Sam was sitting just to their left, legs crossed, back leaning against the headboard, watching them intently. Janet rocked forward as Jack put his hands on her waist, and he took her breast into his mouth. She moaned, a low, throaty sound that ended in a sigh as he started flicking his tongue across her nipple at just the same pace that his cock was moving inside her at. Janet started panting, moving her hips faster as Jack's grip tightened.

She looked back over at Sam, who was touching herself, one hand circling her clit while with her other hand, she pumped two fingers inside herself. "I can't take this much longer," Janet gasped out. "So you better make me come hard, Jack, and you better make me come _now_." He thrust into her harder as she leaned forward more and kissed him, moving in some indefinable rhythm with him as everything she felt concentrated in a tiny ball in the pit of her stomach. Distantly, Janet heard herself moaning, her voice getting higher-pitched with each stroke of Jack's cock inside her. She couldn't keep her eyes open any more, she was screaming, Jack was pushing deeper and deeper into her and Sam was watching them both--and, God, wasn't being watched an unexpected turn-on--as Janet came.

When it was over, when she could think at least semi-rationally again, she found she was slumped bonelessly over Jack's chest, her head resting on his shoulder. "Whoa," was all she said. _We are so screwed._ Janet giggled at her unintentional pun. _Oh, well. May as well enjoy it while it lasts._

"Who knew you were a screamer, Doc?" asked Jack, smirking at her again.

She gave him her best 'bad patient' look and shifted on his lap. _Ooooh._ "You didn't..."

"I was kinda focused on you, Janet," he said. "I figured maybe if you get the best orgasm of your life, you'll go easier on me next time I'm in the infirmary." Janet hit him lightly in the shoulder as Sam snickered.

"Lay Janet down on the bed, sir." The look in Sam's eyes was smoky. _I was right! She does get off on it._ "You don't think I'm going to miss out on all the fun, do you?"

Then Janet felt Jack's hands on her hips, urging her to stand up, so she did, trying not to feel like something was missing if neither of them were touching her. Jack nodded to the bed, so she lay down on the king-sized monstrosity, with Sam next to her, their naked bodies pressed together and their foreheads touching. Jack lay on the outer edge of the bed, behind Janet, and somehow managed to slip into her from there. He brought one hand around and started caressing Janet's arm as he moved slowly in and out of her.

Janet was so close to Sam she could feel her breath on her neck. Sam cupped Janet's face and kissed her lightly, then pulled away with a wryly amused grin. "Boys get so inattentive when they're focusing on their cocks," said Sam.

Janet would have raised an eyebrow at hearing Sam talk dirty, but she was too busy grabbing Jack's tousled hair and saying, "Harder, baby, oh, yeah, just like that."

"That's okay." Sam had her hands on Janet's breasts, was flicking her nipples with every hot breath. "I think I can find something to keep me busy."

Janet groaned. Focusing on a conversation was the _last_ thing she wanted to do right now. Jack's cock was slamming into her, Sam's hands were on her breasts and her hips were shoving forward so that their clits were rubbing together, smooth and slick and Janet was screaming again, grabbing at both of them as she lost control _again_ , as Sam started screaming and Jack's smooth rhythm became frantic and he cried out hoarsely in her ear. And damn, was it a good feeling to come in two sets of arms. Though clean-up from this was going to be hell.

They lay there for a few minutes, out of breath, until Jack slid his cock out of her and Sam crooked her elbow and rested her cheek on her hand.

"This shouldn't have happened," said Janet. She was surprised how cheerful she sounded.

"Tell me about it." Jack groaned. She could still feel him against her lower back. "I'm Sam's CO. Hell, I'm second-in-command of the entire damn base. That makes me your CO too."

 _Excessive CO 2 is unhealthy._ Janet really had to control this unnatural inclination to pun during aphrodisiac-fueled threesomes. "We _are_ under the influence of an alien aphrodisiac," muttered Janet, taking one of her hands off Sam's arm and slipping it in between Sam's legs. Mmm, that felt good, and Sam arched her back and practically purred as Janet slid first one finger, then another deep into her and started moving. Jack made a surprised noise and she saw in her peripheral vision as he lifted his head up to stare at Sam's face. "Trust me when I say that I tried to fight off its effects every way possible."

"Yeah," said Jack, scooting onto the floor as Janet pushed Sam flat onto her back. "I can see that."

"Shut up and watch, Jack," said Janet, throwing him a glare over her shoulder. "Maybe you can learn something here."

"Oh, I'm learnin' a whole lot already," he muttered.

"Just ignore him, baby," Janet whispered in Sam's ear. Sam's head was flung back and she was gasping too hard to do more than nod.

Janet trailed hot, wet kisses down Sam's neck, down her breasts and her belly, until she'd scooted down on the bed far enough that she was eye-level with Sam's clit. "For example," said Janet. "You never have to worry about a woman looking for this." She lowered her mouth onto Sam's clit, using her free hand, the one not pushing and sliding inside of Sam, to hold Sam's hips down when they started to jerk forward. "Ah-ah-ah, baby," murmured Janet, lifting her mouth away. "Not yet."

She started licking delicately at Sam's clit, then added more pressure as Sam groaned. Janet used her free hand to keep Sam's hips as still as possible and as she licked and sucked and moved her fingers deep inside Sam, she glanced at Sam's face.

Sam's eyes were closed. Her back was arched, and her arms were flung over her head so she could clutch at the bedposts as she whimpered and tried to thrust her hips at Janet.

It was good to see that Sam could lose control every once in a while, and even better to know that she was the one who could make Sam lose control. Janet glanced back down and started moving her fingers faster, her tongue flicking across Sam's clit as she lifted her hand off Sam's pelvis.

Jack groaned, and Janet heard the sound of skin slapping sharply against skin from his place at the side of the bed. She risked a quick glance over, and he was staring at them, one hand bracing himself against the bed and the other--barely visible below the mattress--working itself up and down the length of his cock.

The sight made her, inexplicably, even wetter, and the sounds of Sam coming underneath her mouth would have sent Janet over the edge herself if she'd had even the slightest bit of physical stimulation. "Oh, God," said Janet, pulling her fingers out of Sam and sitting up. She used her other hand to wipe off her mouth. Sam lay there in front of her, eyes closed, and a satiated smile on her lips.

Jack, on the other hand, surged onto the bed and pinned Janet against the wall. She gasped and struggled, but he was a Colonel with Black Ops training and she was a medical doctor. "Don't move," he whispered in her ear. "Looks like Carter's finally feeling better, but you and I need some more."

She couldn't move her arms, could barely move her body, but Jack nudged her legs apart and slid his cock into her again. Oh, she was going to hurt in the morning, but right now she practically sobbed at how good he felt.

Then he was moving against her, his cock never leaving her, just moving in these hard, fast, small movements deep inside her, and his chest crushed up against hers, and they were both coming--improbable, but happening anyway--and as Janet screamed, her eyes open and staring into Jack's, she shoved her body closer to his and somehow managed to get her arms free and pulled him to her.

Sam moaned and turned on her side, her eyes still closed. Was she asleep?

Janet sighed and rested her head on Jack's chest. Finally--finally--she was feeling the comfortable afterglow she should have felt after that first orgasm. Except she was tired, and as she felt Jack slipping out of her, she yawned.

"Not the way I like my women to react after sex, Janet," muttered Jack. Then he stifled a yawn of his own.

"Can't keep my eyes open." Janet was suddenly exhausted. The aftereffects of the aphrodisiac must include exhaustion. She lay down on the bed, next to the wall, and Jack lay down between her and Sam. "Not _your_ woman anyway," she muttered.

Jack was snoring already. Janet sighed and let her eyelids close. Why bother fighting the sleep if she'd given in on the sex?

***

The sun beamed through the windows and Janet groaned. "Oh, God." She flung her forearm over her eyes. She was naked and squeezed against the wall by an equally naked Sam Carter and Jack O'Neill.

"Uh-oh," said Sam.

Janet groaned again.

"We are _so_ in trouble," muttered Jack.

"You're telling me," said Sam.

Janet didn't even bother reaching for a blanket. After that much sex with both of them, what was the point of modesty? She lifted her head and looked over at Jack and Sam.

Sam's eyes were squeezed shut. "This is _not_ happening."

"Not any more it's not," said Janet. "What the hell were we thinking?"

"We weren't," muttered Jack. He sat up and looked down at Janet and Sam.

"Do you _mind_ , Colonel?" snapped Janet. She was pretty sure there had been blankets, or a sheet, or something, but they had vanished some time during their-- She didn't want to think about it.

"My radio's in the other room," said Jack. "Gotta go over there and wait in case Daniel or Teal'c are trying to check in."

"Of course," murmured Sam. She was staring steadfastly up at the ceiling. She rolled out of bed and grabbed her t-shirt from where it was lying on the floor. Jack swung his legs around and caught his t-shirt and boxers from Sam, who threw them at him. "And can we leave _this_ in the room, _sir_?" she asked bitterly.

Oh, God. Janet had never more in her life wished for naquadah in her bloodstream and Niirti's phase-shifting hand device. Invisibility would be awfully nice right about now.

"Carter--" Jack started to reach for her, but Sam was stalking towards the bathroom while wrestling her t-shirt over her head.

"She's angry, Colonel," said Janet quietly. She sat up and reached for the sheet. She'd found it stuffed in the narrow opening between the bed and the wall. It tugged out easily, and she was wrapping it around herself when Colonel O'Neill spoke.

"We're back to 'Colonel' now, are we, Doc?"

Oh, God. Janet closed her eyes. "We never should have left it," she said, fighting to keep her voice steady. "We knew that at the time, but we weren't thinking clearly."

"Weren't we?" asked Jack.

"No, we weren't," snapped Janet. "I'm a _medical doctor_ , Colonel. I deal with alien viruses and contagious diseases on a regular basis, and not once did I think about a method of disease control or contraception."

"But I thought--"

"Yes, Colonel," said Janet icily. She struggled to stand. "Every woman who goes through the gate on a regular basis is on birth control. I'm on the pill, and Sam is receiving hormone injections." She stood. Colonel O'Neill, thankfully, was still sitting, though the fact that he was frozen in place with only his clothing held loosely in his lap was a little distracting. _I won't let that get to me now that the effects of the aphrodisiac have worn off._ "However, that's not the point. The point is that I _didn't think about it_."

The Colonel took a deep breath. "Doc--"

He didn't reach out for _her_ , Janet noticed. She shrugged. "I may not have any practice leaving it in the room," she said. "But don't worry, I won't say anything. Believe me, I don't want anyone at the SGC knowing that I was the one who got between you and Sam. Bets are on it being Daniel anyway."

"Janet." Jack slipped his boxers on and stood. "Please don't--"

"Don't what, Colonel?" asked Janet. She stalked across the room and started pulling out her BDUs. Thank God they were heading back to Earth today. "Be upset that I was the third wheel when the two of you finally found a way to get around the regs, if only for one night?"

 _He's the one who wanted you to stay._ Janet ignored that thought. This awkward morning-after was proving to be more awkward than most.

"That's not how it was, and you know it," he said. "I didn't--I wouldn't--" He threw his hands up in the air momentarily, his t-shirt fluttering alon. "God damn it, if there had been nothing between you and me, or between you and Sam, none of this would have happened!"

Janet quirked an eyebrow at him. "There's something between us."

"Jeez." Jack exhaled sharply. "Like you didn't know. Like we haven't all felt it."

Janet sat down on the other bed and crossed her arms. She had a while to wait until the shower was free, and there was no way she was leaving this room without cleaning up first. "I know," she said ruefully. "But I didn't think you or Sam felt it. Not for me."

"Yeah, well, Doc, you were wrong," said Jack. He groaned. "Are we okay now? We're done with the talk, right?"

Janet grinned. It was difficult to stay mad at him. "All right, Colonel. We're fine. But you'd better hope you get off this easily with Sam."

The look on Jack's face was priceless.

"Oops," said Janet sheepishly.

"Think Carter's still going to be mad when she gets out of the shower?" asked Jack.

"Furious," said Janet.

"Great." Jack glared at the wall past Janet's head.

"You know, I was more than willing to just let things be," said Janet. "Before the accidental ingestion of last night's aphrodisiac." She sighed and let her head loll back. Well, at least she was _really_ relaxed now.

"Preaching to the choir of 'just let things be,' Doc," said Jack. He gathered up his shirt and his boxers from where they lay on the floor.

Sam stepped out of the bathroom, then. She was clean, dressed, and aside from damp hair, looked every inch the perfect Major. Great. She spoke before either of them could say anything. "It happened. We couldn't help it. But it's not happening again. Nor is it going in my report." She took a deep breath. "I'll be waiting outside the building."

"Well." Janet let out the breath she'd been holding. "That could have gone worse. Talk about leaving it in the room."

"And not talking about your feelings," added Jack. "She's not wrong, though."

"Isn't someone supposed to be giving the 'it's okay to have feelings for your best friend and the base's second-in-command' speech right now?" asked Janet. She stood and held her sheet more tightly.

"Is that so?" asked Jack dryly.

"No," said Janet. "Not really. But it's my turn to go angst in the shower."

"You going to be okay, Doc?" asked Jack.

"I'll be just fine, Colonel," said Janet, closing the door to the bathroom behind her. _I always am._

***

The trip back to the 'gate was awkward. Daniel was chattering away about the cultural practices of their hosts to whoever would listen. Jack, Janet, and Sam straggled along, none of them looking at the other. Teal'c took the rear position, and Janet could feel his concerned glances on the back of her neck.

Then what Daniel was saying finally sank in.

"The what?" asked Jack.

"The festival of Inanna," said Daniel impatiently. "You see, the culture here is functionally Sumerian. The language even evolved from the cuneiform we have on Earth--"

"Daniel," interrupted Sam, who wasn't looking at either Jack or Janet. "The festival?"

"Oh, well, it's a fascinating event," said Daniel, gesturing with one hand and pushing up his glasses with the other. "Sort of a combination of religious ritual and group orgy. You see, they have this feast--" He made a sort of rolling gesture with his hands. "Well, it's some sort of dish that they call the Seed of Dumuzi. Dumuzi being Inanna's husband in Sumerian mytholo--"

"Daniel!" exclaimed Janet.

Daniel blinked at her quizzically.

"The dish," she prompted.

"Oh, yes, the dish," said Daniel. "The dish is supposed to be laced with some kind of potent aphrodisiac.' He smiled apologetically at Janet. "I tried to get a sample for you, but they said it was sacred."

"That's just fine," said Janet tightly as Sam choked and Jack coughed.

"Come on, people, let's stop telling kiddie stories and move out," said Jack. "We've got a rendezvous to make, a post-mission physical to get through, and reports to write."

Somehow, without speaking once, Sam, Janet, and Jack managed to come to the conclusion that nothing of last night's activities should be included on their reports.

\--End--


End file.
